anemoia
noun
nostalgia for a time or place one has never known.
Michael Bay's 2007 film Transformers centers around annoying dipshit plucky teenager Sam Witwicky as destiny throws him right into the middle of the endless struggle between the Autobots and the Decepticons. Two opposing factions of alien robots that can assume the form of various machinery. Both sides are looking for the AllSpark, a life-giving artifact that could revitalize their war-torn planet of Cybertron.
The film was unleashed onto the unsuspecting populace on the 3rd of July, 2007 and grossed over ~$700,000,000 worldwide on a budget of ~$150,000,000. The film was a pop-culture phenomenon, and has gone on to spawn countless sequels, parodies and various kinds of merchandise.
Admittedly, I never saw any of the live-action Transformers films (or any Transformers works in general) until recently. It was one of those popular franchises like Marvel's Avengers or Pirates of the Caribbean I never really paid attention to growing up. Dispite this, I've always gotten a weird sense of "nostalgia" from this movie, like it was a fond part of my childhood even though it wasn't. I strongly accociate it with Super Bowl commercials and Blackberry phones in my mind for whatever reason.
Sometime in 2022, I sat down to watch the first movie, purely out of curiousity. I dropped it during the car dealership scene (So, 12~13 minutes in) because the secondhand embarrasment radiating from Sam and his stupid dad was so unbearable I could not continue to watch.
Now that I've seen it again, and in its entirety this time around; I can definitly say that this film is a product of its time. A thrilling yet mindless action blockbuster/US Military propaganda film with a few product placements and sexist jokes sprinkled in. It's not a deep or compelling film at all, and the purpose of this page is not to convice you otherwise.
But I do see some potential in it. A film about the Cybertronian Civil War on Earth from the perspective of a human who suddenly has the weight of both worlds dropped onto their shoulders sounds really good on paper. A few script changes, cuts and more character development/character-focused scenes could bring this up to Transformers One levels of quality.
I'm not excited that Mr. Explosions is back on board to make five(?) more Transformers films because I know for a fact that none of those five films will ever be as exciting or as hysterical as the first film was.
The only piece of Bayformers merch I own.
I have something called "Transformers Mix & Match". A big, squeaky book aimed at children that contains a very boiled-down summary of the first film. The pages are divided into thirds, so that the reader can create their own story as well as their own horrific Cybertronian abomination. There are "over 200 different combos".
I also have this cute little plushie of Optimus Prime that I got at TFTR3D's Gift Shop, but the plush is in the image of his G1 incarnation and not his Bayverse incarnation, so it doesn't count as "Bayformers merch" in my eyes. But I get it, it's hard to make Bayverse merch that's "cute".
Speaking of The Ride 3D
During my birthday in 2022, I went on Transformers - The Ride 3D at Universal Orlando for the first time. I was very depressed and having a bad day. After an painfully long wait in line, I entered the ride vehicle with numerous other strangers, not knowing what to expect.
The only thing I remember about that ride experience was Evac. Not the 4 action-packed minutes of pure, unfettered CGI robot mayhem or even the wait in line. No. It was just Evac, the fake car you sit in that talks to you during the ride. There was something about a big, strong robot man holding you close to him while asking you if you're okay. I'm embarrassed to say this but...
It awoke something inside of me.
But I digress.
